Tuesday, June 14, 2005

"I wear my sunglasses at night..."

For what? What can you possibly see? Not a damn thing. I mean I understand that you want to be fashionable and all that, but do you realize how silly you look wearing SUNglasses inside Dream? Man, you can hardly see in there without the glasses and your dumbass is wearing them. Also, what's up with them big ass sunglasses that take up half your face? Not only are you wearing sunglasses; you're wearing sunglasses that stretch from your shape-up to your upper lip. I mean look at Bow Wow (We'll get to him later) in his new video...he looks like a damn retard.


Summertime is here and I already feel the need to put out a few disclaimers. For some reason, one of the Young Black Male's favorite pasttimes is hanging on street corners while acting a fool. Fellas if you're going to participate in this act and decide to do it shirtless, for the sake of your own reputation, please have some muscles. I'm skinny so I KNOW I don't need to let the bird cage loose on Upper Marlboro. Why do some of yall feel the need to do so?

Ladies, I got two for yall. Before you decide to wear sandals for the first time, go out and compare your feet to the feet of other women. If you know your feet are subpar, keep 'em inside. NO OPEN TOE SHOES. Hammertime was good in the late '80's and about 2 in the morning when a girl is over, but it's not good on your feet.

Also, ladies, I know it's some dudes out there sicing your head, but fact remains you still have a gut. I don't wanna see that either. Just because they make spandex in plus sizes, it doesn't mean you should wear it. Keep the form-fitting tube tops, wife-beaters, and hot pants at Forestville Mall. Your mind may say your tight, but your body is saying you're not. Know what you're capable of folks.


Back to Bow Wow. His new song has a good beat and it sounds alright until....This dude breaks out into the Name Game in the middle of the song. That's just unbelievable to me. How could he have possibly thought that was a good idea? Who was in the studio with him? Whoever was is just as responsible for not stopping him. While you were at it Mr. Wow, why didn't you put Ring Around the Rosey in there too?"