Footwear Tips for the Summer (Sorry Fellas)

Ok so my homegal Reese (see the blog below) came to me with this idea and I'm afraid she's right fellas. We do some wild shit with our outfits. Much of the time, it's the older gentlemen setting us back but some of the younger generation are on their daha out here too.

1. If you were born with a penis, you SHOULD NOT wear sandals. Flip-flops on the beach...FINE. Jesus sandals at the cookout...NO. Keep your rusty ass toes and ashy heels inside.

2. In the event that you do BAM out with sandals, leave the sock out of it. Don't take socks down with you. DO NOT WEAR SOCKS WITH SANDALS. I'm not for sandals, but wearing socks with them defeats the purpose...doesn't it?

3. Older black men, yall gotta stop with the cookout socks (cookout socks-colored or white socks pulled up to the knee.) Get some regular length socks and on the rare occasion...no-sock'em with the linen short set (RARE).

4. Ok...so for my DC bretheren...this is mostly a Southside thing too. Slouch socks are done. It's over. It's 2007 not 1997. You could still get away with it in like '01, but not in '07. Tube socks. They're so key. Some of yall even wear BLACK slouch socks. COME ON holmes...don't do THAT.

5. Do yall know how retarded yall look rockin' Timberlands and Nike boots with shorts. No, seriously. BOOTS with shorts. Women put their boots up for the summer...please do the same.

6. Another one for my DC bretheren. You want to wear Hobo socks...fine...no problem. Wear a Hobo outfit though. Man...stop wearing Raiders' jersey with them black Alldaz socks. You're cheating. Would you wear a reebok shirt with some Air Force Ones (LOL-This is funny subject all in itself)?

7. Stop wearing white dress socks. Those are male knee-highs out here. There's only one man who can get away with that...Michael Jordan(1. God 2. Jesus Distant 3. Jordan=he can do whatever he wants). However, you can't get away with that. Put on Navy socks with that navy suit. Shit ain't hard. Just match it up.

8. Stop wearing wild-colored gators, crocs and snakeskin shoes. Obviously, if you wearing wild-colored shoes, you probably have on a wild-colored outfit, but I'm trying to stop you from looking like a complete idiot. I see these old men hopping out of their Deville's at the metro station. Just because you have on a matching jacket, slacks, tie and gators...doesn't mean it's professional. Why do they even make Lavender gators?

9. Old white men...Stop wearing tube socks with the stripes at the top. I know yall really don't care, but come on...set an example. Get some regular tube socks and keep it moving.

10. Every shoe ain't for everybody. I wear a size 13 and I'm skinny. I can't wear every shoe. I've come to grips with that fact. I see a shoe in the store...it looks so RIGHT on the wall. I put it on my foot...CLOWN SHOES. Really...How would I look in some white shell-toed Adidas...like a damn fool.

Alright fellas, be careful with your choice of shoes, socks this summer. The world is watching. Some basic tips to live by. Be safe with your choices and you can't go wrong.